in recovery since 26.3.03

My higher power

2 July 2003, 11:00 p.m.

It finds me, I don't go looking. It's there when I have a powerful instinct about something, when I feel gratitude welling up in me, when I sit with myself and feel at peace. When I pray, I feel it is in the air around me, when I feel weak I feel as though it has me wrapped up in safety, when I'm happy and strong, it's smiling on me and sharing my joy.

Right now I feel it is always guarding me, letting me move around freely and make what I think are my own decisions, but it's always watching and waiting for me to look to it for support and ready to make its presence known should it look like I need a hand... by guiding me to people, places, ideas that can help.

I'm never alone now. I may not be able to see anything but there's something so tangible there I almost feel I could touch it.